I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
