His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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