There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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