The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
