If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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