$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
