I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
