There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
