My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
