I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
