I molested 6 butterflies tonight
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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