Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
