Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
