when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
