College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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