Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize