Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
