She's JV to your varsity
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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