garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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