Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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