My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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