I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize