i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
