You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
