I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
