mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
