My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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