If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Who did Billy Mays play for?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
