The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize