Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
