Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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