why didn't you poke me back
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
