Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
