Christians are straight up FREAKS
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
