Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
