He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
