How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
