I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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