I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
A bitchslap is in order.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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