ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
