KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
