A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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