imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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