I can tuck mytits in my pants
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
