I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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