I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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