we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
