Me too!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
