I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i dont even know how to be here
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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