the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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