a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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