Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
