Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The power of my boobs compel you
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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