You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Someone shit on the floor
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
