If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
