UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
