Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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